Romantic love has always been in high demand; and like everything in high demand, it is not always easy to find. Some find love by locking eyes and smiling across a room; others have to put in more work.

Olawale and Linda first met face-to-face at a Mr. Biggs in Lagos Mainland. As soon as he set his eyes on her, he knew that he was in love

In the time before digital matchmaking, hidden within the pages of newspapers were personal ads that served those looking for companionship and love. These columns were filled with quirky descriptions and heartfelt messages as people did their best to impress potential love interests in a few sentences. Couples connected, courted, and found love. All without having to swipe right.

When Olawale Met Linda

*Olawale and *Linda first met face-to-face at a Mr. Biggs restaurant in Lagos Mainland. As soon as he set his eyes on her, he knew that he was in love. For months before their meeting, they had been speaking on the phone then via Facebook chats, before they decided it was time to see each other.

Olawale was nervous before the meeting. The same nerves, fueled by an acute shyness, were the reason he had placed an ad in P.M. News in the first place. Walking up to a woman was out of the question for him. He was twenty-six years old, juggling a full-time job with his studies at Iree Polytechnic, Osun State.  He had tried responding to other personal ads before, but nothing had come of his efforts. His message in the August 2007 newspaper was simple: he wanted love and companionship. It was a bold move that paid off.

Before the week was out, his phone was ringing with calls from women who wanted to connect with him. He gave every one of them a fair chance. Unfortunately, things would quickly fizzle out. That is, until he received Linda’s call. Their conversations flowed naturally. He liked how easy it was to forget the “unusualness” of how she got his number. Most importantly, he liked that she liked him back.

When writing a personal ad, the more you stand out, the higher your chances were of meeting someone. The most often used descriptors in personal ads included “God-fearing”, “understanding”, “honest”,  “employed”. Tribe, state of origin, height, and complexion also made appearances in these ads.

For the first meeting, he picked his outfit carefully. He prepped for every possible scenario. But with the first “Hello”, all the anxiety fell away. They got comfortable almost immediately as the familiarity they had built over texts and calls kicked in.

Why Personal Ads? 

The week P. M. News launched in 1994 it sold 25,000 copies. By 2007 when Olawale placed his ad, the paper was distributing tens of thousands of newspapers daily. The veteran newspapers, such as The Guardian and Vanguard, had distributions in the six figures.

At the time, the idea that you could reach millions of people around the world without having any of them in your phone book or on your Facebook friends list was unimaginable. Those determined to find love took their chances with the avenue that had some chances of getting results but also allowed for anonymity.

A typical personal ad contained your unique selling points and what you were looking for, much like what you find on dating app profiles today. The difference was the addition of your contact information—an email address or a phone number. In older newspapers, P.O. Box addresses were the norm. Some brave souls even shared their home addresses.

When writing a personal ad, the more you stand out, the higher your chances were of meeting someone. The most often used descriptors in personal ads included “God-fearing”, “understanding”, “honest”,  “employed”. Tribe, state of origin, height, and complexion also made appearances in these ads.

Early Nigerian newspapers like the Lagos Weekly Record and The Nigerian Pioneer included classified sections where personal ads, legal notices, and business advertisements were featured. These sections served as important channels for communication, allowing individuals to place ads for job opportunities, legal matters, and matters of the heart. The practice of having separate pages specifically for personal relationship ads in Nigerian newspapers became popular in the 2000s as more people got email addresses and mobile phone numbers.

What Makes A Love Story Complete? 

Is it the razzmatazz of a Nigerian wedding? Or when you freeze to death while trying to save your partner even though there is more than enough space for both of you on the floating door frame?

The answer does not have to be marriage or death.

Olawale and Linda dated for five years before “life happened” and they stopped talking. While he does not remember the reason for their break up, he has no regrets. The bond they shared was genuine. It was an experience he would not trade for anything. He overcame his shyness around women and is now happily married.

Personal Ads, But Make it Digital

Personal ads are no longer commonplace in today’s newspapers but with social media platforms allowing individuals access to people they might otherwise never have met, it makes sense that love connections happen there.

At the height of the lockdown in 2020,  Jerry slid into Deborah’s Twitter DM with the message “I am sure you already know by now the world is going to end. Coronavirus is here, do you want to get married? I’m free this Saturday.” The couple is now married and their story is one of many you can find on Twitter with the hashtag #WeMetOnTwitter.

Dating apps are now a dime a dozen, reflecting the growing reliance on technology for social and romantic connections. The search for love—whether through carefully chosen words in a personal ad or a casual message in a digital space—remains important.

It might not always be a fairytale that ends in happily ever after, but it will always be worth finding.

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